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YOU’VE CHOSEN A GUY OVER GOD WHEN…5 Signs of Spiritual Imbalance while Dating

Talking with Terrance, dancing in his arms, and being kissed by him caused a whirlwind affect that caused me to do any and everything possible to not rock the boat. So what if he didn’t pray, go to church, or even mention God. I allowed the sight of a bible on his nightstand to momentarily comfort me whenever I spent the night at his place.

When it came to Bryce, I wasn’t as passive but couldn’t deny the growth of my agitation was stemming from our continual clash of lifestyles that reflected God. He depended on me to initiate convos about God, be the listening ear to all his woes, and be spiritually strong for both of us. He agreed to attend church with me, but still deejayed at a variety of nightspots and hung out at strip clubs. I once gave him a gift bag which contained my favorite version of the bible, sermons on CD, and other resources to motivate him. He was inwardly battling over where he stood with God. I patiently waited for a week (by then I was about to bust out of frustration) for him to tell me how the gifts enriched his mind and ignited his fire for God. Nope. My hope was in vain.

I had to call it quits. Time passed and l learned that I could never be Jesus Jr. to a man…crucifying my identity in Christ, working to save him, and trying to resurrect a belief that God must be the center of our relationship. I no longer wanted to evangelize a guy who was romantically attracted to me. Neither could I suppress my affection toward God for the sake of a guy’s attention. The cost was too great and the cross too big to bear.


The imbalance drained me and detoured me from the real desire of my heart: to have a strong relationship with God that is strengthened by a strong relationship with a man who has a strong relationship with God.        

So how can you really tell if you’re giving God the backseat or laying your faith on the backburner? Here’s five quick ways to tell you’ve chosen a guy over God.

1) Your communication is bare minimum.

You talk to God in passing or toss prayers up in a cookie cutter way, mainly to check it off your to-do list. But God wants you to invest time in talking and listening to him and not treat him as an after-thought.

You say thank you more to your man vs. the Master of every blessing you have ever enjoyed. God rewards gratitude with more blessings.

Another sign of communication deficiency is where you’re talking to each other, but hardly talk to God together. It’s powerfully beautiful when a man and woman are in love, join hands, and pray for each other.

2) You follow your feelings.

When you need clarity who do you run to first? You rush to rely on your own emotions. Consequently, you take whatever feels right to you and try to persuade your man to fall in formation with your feelings. But you must remember that God has a map of every detail of your life and all of creation. That’s why you can’t place your trust in your limited knowledge and wavering feelings. Seek God first and foremost, the unlimited resource of direction.

3) You’re don’t stand up for your beliefs.

Bryan Clay once wrote, “You don’t have to sacrifice who you are to follow your beliefs.”

A lifestyle that reflects your belief in God shapes your mind, body, spirit, decisions, actions, and reactions. It should never be disguised to appease a man or downplayed as if it has no worth.

When you know something is wrong and disturbs your heart, don’t be mute. Turn the volume up and speak out! If it causes a disagreement, so be it. It’s better to convey your innermost standards, convictions, and godly principles than squelch them to nada and live a lie.


You’re too royal not to be real…

real about God and real about your faith.

4) You don’t make time for quality time.

Think about yourself before having that man, special friend, or guy crush in your life. Remember asking God for help, encouragement, confidence, and guidance about companionship? You used to laugh at God’s humor, see beauty in nature, cry while journaling, attend church regularly, and say your God connection would never be sacrificed no matter how amazing a man is.

But now you bend over backwards by any means necessary to accommodate the demands of romance. When you keep pouring out and never stop to be replenished by God’s re-energizing love, you become weak. Even a good front eventually exposes cracks from hurt and emptiness behind your game face mask. Spend some QT with God and watch your worship increase, your worry decrease, and your weakness dissipate.  

5) You neglect text messages and posts.

There’s all sorts of colorful deterrents on social media, but remember God is social! He’s a part of your ever day life. Sure you have friends and followers you may want to showcase pics of bae, date nights, and twofies to constantly. However, God wants you to tap into his text messages sent via his word, devotionals, programs, and songs. He longs for you to see and add his posts to your heart as a favorite for life!

What do you think is the most difficult spiritual imbalance to overcome while dating? Are there other methods to reconnect with God and stay connected romantically? Leave a comment below, I want to hear from you!

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